What Goes On In My Heed!!!

Just read the one that Molt did and thought I'd try it

The Rules:
1. You can only say Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!

Taken a picture naked? : No
Made out with a member of the same sex? : No
Danced in front of your mirror? : No
Told a lie? : Yes
Gotten in a car with people you just met?: Yes
Been in a fist fight? : Yes
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : Yes
Been arrested? : No
Left your house without telling your parents? : No
Ditched school to do something more fun? : No
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : No
Seen someone die? : Yes
Kissed a picture? : Yes
Slept in until 3? : Yes
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : Yes
Played dress up? : No
Fallen asleep at work/school? : Yes
Felt an earthquake? : Yes
Touched a snake? : No
Ran a red light? : No
Had detention? : Yes
Been in a car accident? : Yes
Pole danced? : No
Been lost? : No
Sang karaoke? : Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose??: Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?? : Yes
Kissed in the rain? : No
Sang in the shower? : Yes
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : No
Ever gone to school partially naked? : No
Sat on a roof top? : No
Played chicken? : No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : Yes
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? : No
Broken a bone? : Yes
Mooned/flashed someone? : No
Forgotten someone's name? : Yes
Slept naked? : Yes
Blacked out from drinking? : Yes
Played a prank on someone? : Yes
Felt like killing someone? : Yes
Made a parent cry? : Yes
Cried over someone? : Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : No
Had/Have a dog? : No
Been in a band? : Yes
Drank 25 sodas in a day? : No
Shot a gun? : Yes

So now you know

Right I've decided no more Mr Nice Guy!

Make me Top Blogger...........
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....or the cat gets it!!!!!
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Only joking

Saw this and couldn't resist it

See ya!

Right I've posted on every site I post on except this one so now I've run out of ideas.
Therefore I've decided to post on here even though I've NO IDEA what I'm going to put.

*Deep breath*......

erm.......

let's see............

*long pause*.........

Been another very quiet (and hot) day again. Went to my group this afternoon. Put some more flowers on the grave.

VERY HAPPY that DJB has got a place on the Technology Course

CONGRATULATIONS! WELL DONE! and GOOD LUCK! with it

And I think that's all I can put tonight, what a boring post. Sorry

I'll write something better next time.....promise

See ya!

In General
1. Name an electrical item?
A Drill.

2. Name something you use in the garden?
Neighbours lawnmower.

3. Is Yesterday, Tomorrow, Today?
Eh?

4. If you were told you had been stumped trying to guide a wrongun' down to fine leg . . what would you say?
I say old boy that's not Cricket.

5. What is the most ridiculous thing you've heard today?
That Jaffa Cakes could be biscuits.

6. Are Jaffa Cakes, cakes or are they biscuits? (ignore EEC guidelines)
CAKES read the box (you Sprouts).

7. What's one law you would introduce on your election as Prime Minister?
Do I have to choose only one?.

8. What the most amount of consecutive sneezes you've ever done?
12 before I have my Anti-Histamine.

9. Have you seen a shooting star?
Yes I have.

10.Do you know any star constellations?
Orion, The Plough.

11.Worst / best chatup line ever used / heard?
I have never used them or had any said to me.

12.Have you ever got really, really lost ?
Lost? No not at all.......honest

13.Can you read a map?
Does an A-Z count?

14.Have you got any pets?
3 fish (and until I can get them out of the tank 2 snails).

15.What's the worst film you've ever seen?
I think off hand, the worst film I've seen all the way through is "A Series Of Unfortunate Events".

Personals
1. Which side of the bed do you sleep?
In the middle.

2. A term of endearment that makes you cringe?
Honey, Sugar, Sweetie.

3. Are you left or right handed?
Right handed.

4. Are you left or right footed?
Right footed.

5. Name one weird/bizarre/fun . . habit or personality trait you have?
I am my own worst critic.

6. Now tell us the one you thought of first but thought I'm not putting that !!
I'm double jointed!

7. Do you have a favourite glass or mug you always use?
Yes a LARGE mug.

Childhood
1. Did you pass your cycling profiency test?
No.

2. Can you swim 10metres underwater?
Only when I sink!

3. A favourite childhood food or drink?
Banjo chocolate bars.

4. Number of times you were sent to your room with no tea?
None I was a good boy *sniggers*.

5. Most memorable childhood achievement?
Surviving school!

Beliefs
1. Do you believe in fate or choice?
Fate don't ask why.

2. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes.

3. Do you believe everything you see ?
Not everything.

4. Do you believe in conspiracy theories ?
Yes I'm very cynical!

5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
What's love?.

and finally . .

6. Can you believe that your actually filling this in?
Yes but I can't believe that there's any chance of me getting away with nicking it in the first place!

Well what can I say about (what is now) yesterday except what is the title of this post?

It started off quiet enough and well enough, got up, turned my computer on and started typing away at this and that, mostly for Chapel in the afternoon. Found out my printer has a slight mis-alignment that is causing thin lines on whatever I print at the moment. Not sure yet though how to correct it on this one because I've never had to do it before, (tried to do it, but don't really understand the method this one uses).

Anyway that was one thing, then went to play this afternoon. My concentration's a little better lately so I'm playing better than I have been recently. However played 1 hymn that has 3 verses, only played 2 then had to be reminded that there was 1 more DOH!!!

Then we tried to discuss a little matter of a sing along I'm doing at the chapel on 11th August. The people who go think that I'm a "brilliant organist" which I know I'm not. However 1 of them thinks I am better than I am. I do 2 of these nights every year, 1 in Summer and 1 near Christmas and I said that I wanted to do some different songs this time, and so she's been trying to pick things that she knows, not thinking about the others. So all I ended up with was a headache. I've tried to tell her but she won't listen

Came back home to find Yahoo!'s mail is on the blink, I can't access it at all. That happening to anyone else on Yahoo!?

Then went out singing and to me I'm getting worse. I sat on my own tonight as well (not by choice)

Why is it that women only really become friendly with me when they're drunk? Last week I had a great laugh with a women there (and that was all), but this week when she was sober, she hardly said 2 words to me all night. It's not the first time either with different women.

Maybe I'll leave that debate for another post.

Anyway off to bed and hope that Monday's better

See ya!

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery.
As she lay her pet on the table .. the vet pulled out his Stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said .. I'm so sorry .. your pet has passed away most likely bird flu.

The distressed owner wailed .. Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure .. the duck is dead he replied.

How can you be so sure she protested .. I mean .. you haven't done any testing on him or anything .. he might just be in a coma or something.

The vet rolled his eyes .. turned around and left the room .. he returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever .. as the duck's owner looked on in amazement .. the dog stood on his hind legs ..
put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom .. he then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his
head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat .. the cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again .. the cat sat back on its haunches .. shook its head .. meowed softly jumped down and strolled
out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said .. I'm sorry but as I said before this is most definitely 100% certifiably a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal .. hit a few keys and produced a bill .. which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner .. still in shock .. took the bill .. $300 she cried .. $300 just to tell me my duck is dead!!

The vet shrugged .. I'm sorry .. but if you'd taken my word for it the first time the bill would have been $50 .. but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan .. it all adds up!!!!

Boom Boom !!!

Hope this cheered someone up.

Would you say that my flat gets very warm?

I'd say so

Not a great day.......

First of all went to CAB (Citizens Advice Bureau) for advice about my benefits, their advice? Go speak to the benefits office.

Then (promise you won't laugh) it took me 3 (yes 3) attempts to pay my road tax:

Attempt 1: Went to pay, forgot MOT certificate. So went home to fetch it.
Attempt 2:Went to pay, forgot insurance certificate. So went home to fetch it.
Attempt 3: Went to pay, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!

I'm losing my mind

OI YOU PROMISED NOT TO LAUGH!

Then went to Leicester to the Mental Health Unit to sort out what to do about my psychiatric treatment. I wanted to be transferred to Coalville which is a lot nearer and offers more help than they do at Leicester. The "expert" at Leicester thinks I need a rest from the system (no prizes for guessing what she's trying to do).

Anyway on top of that, the heat, as well as trying to kill me off has brought my eczema out on 1 of my legs, and it's driving me nuts!

If that wasn't enough.....

I'm now eating a bag of "Doritos" and they are very dry

Oh well hope I have a better day tomorrow

See ya!

Yet ANOTHER hot one again today.

Went to my final counselling session this morning. Hope I can get something else sorted out now

Then went to group this afternoon and we went to Melbourne Hall nearby and had a walk around there. It's very nice there

Strange thing is, that while I was there, I didn't feel hot or sweaty. Then as soon as I got home and sat down, I started. I'm still like it now at 21:48, this is getting stupid, and I'm told it'll be even hotter tomorrow!!!!!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway see ya!

Second of two sent by E-Mail

The Pastor's Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
    
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
    
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
    
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
    
The bishop was buried the next day.
    
The moral of the story is....being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
    
Have a nice day!

One of two sent to me by E-Mail

Newspaper cuttings

1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)

2) Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)

3) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)

4) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)

5) At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)

6) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'" (Bournemouth Evening Echo)

A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...

1) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."

2) "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."

3) "Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination."

4) "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'."

5) "We are now travelling through Baker Street... As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".

6) "Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me."

7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl:"Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately, towels are not provided."

8) "Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause .) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."

9) "Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions."

10) "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."

11) "We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door."

12) "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"

13) "Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down four-eyes and move your bl??dy golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a??e sideways!"

14) "May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage

Enjoy

It's been a strange week for me,

On the up side, I've made a few more friends both on here and another site (YouTube) some of which invited me, not the other way round. Others I have invited have accepted, and I really feel now part of this blog-family

On YouTube I met this man (no not like that, I'm straight ok?) His name is Betillo Arenallo, he's a singer with a great voice. Please, if you are a member of YouTube check him out

On the down side, I found out that a married couple who are friends of mine are selling their house.......

........and moving to Blackpool!

As if I'm not losing enough friends around here anyway one way or another

I know I'm being selfish but if this carries on, I shall
soon be alone and I'm beginning to panic about it.

Having said that, I really wish them good luck, they're (hopefully) buying a business there and if anyone can make a go of it, they can. Plus they said that I can stay with them if I go up there.

So "GOOD LUCK S & W"

Anyway going singing now so see ya!

ARRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!! I cannot believe the Internet could be so full of crap!

I am a fan of the Animaniacs and I was recently sent two songs from their series. So today (not knowing which sites these were from) I tried to find some more.

I have looked on practically every search engine I have at my disposal and what do I find?

Several links to Animaniacs downloads, all of which are no good.

I have looked at several Mp3 companies that claim to have them, only to get "ooops sorry we can't find the page" or the more standard but more boring "page cannot be found or doesn't exist" or even worse, the dreaded "different company altogether that ask if you want to make their page your homepage" type messages.

So I then look on sites that are done by individuals, the "On here in my collection, you'll find every Mp3 you've ever been looking for" type sites. Sounds promising, so I click the links. Only to find that yes they do have every Mp3 in their collection, but they're on a list that is NO USE TO ANYONE!!!!! They've just put them up there to brag off what they have got. GET A LIFE AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!

I HATE BROKEN LINKS AND STUPID LISTS!!!

It's not just this instance either. Not a day goes by without me blindly flying into the spiders web of useless sites. If they can't put anything up that's usable, then don't put it up at all and help make the Internet a more useful and sane world to be in.

Is that too much to ask? Perhaps it is *sigh*

See ya

I've had a better day today, still boring this morning but ok this afternoon and tonight.

I had some photos sent me today of me at the wedding from the bride, they're not bad at all. I don't like photos of me really because they remind me of how I look lol.

Also there was a card with them with a message in it thanking me and said that both me and the car looked great and did a great job. So that cheered me up today

I went to my Tuesday group this afternoon and ended up calling Bingo. It was a fun afternoon lol.

Then took some flowers to mum and dads grave, came back and now I'm on here. I took the flowers later today because of how warm it's been again today phew!

Anyway not bad today

See ya!

Well I had a nice day on Saturday, but back down to Earth the past couple of days.

Normal service has been resumed *sigh*

Firstly, made an absolute mess of playing on Sunday, I was all over the place. Same with that night too when I went karaoke, I was awful (worse than usual) 

Then today I went to group this morning only to be told that because they're not feeling well, my counsellor has cancelled my appointment for tomorrow. Great!!!

On top of that I left a post on a site yesterday and I got a reply today that made me feel very stupid and that I'd been told off. Then just spoke to someone on MSN and it was a very short conversation. They said that they are going out and I'm sure that's true, but when that happens, I can't help feeling that they've gone because of me.

I've always felt like that though!

On a lighter note, I sent several comments to a blog person on here and I got a positive comment back about them so it's not been all bad today ...........just most of it...........and the night's not over yet  

I hope that tonight goes better, not going out so will probably stay on here somewhere, but I'm becoming slightly paranoid that I'm going to upset other people now.

Oh well I've had one good day, so I suppose I've now got to pay for it.

Anyway take care

See ya!

Thank you geckoperson, I now have a "lovesgeckos" tag so I am now part of the club

(Still don't get it though)

Oh well at least I've got one

See ya (again)!

Before you ask, no NOT mine

I drove for a friends wedding today (my car gets me out of buying quite a few presents lol).

The day actually went very well and mostly according to plan. My friend (the bride) looked gorgeous, the groom looked very smart, the car looked very nice (especially with the ribbon on) and behaved as it should (not as it sometimes does), even the traffic was with us so we were early getting there. For once, everything went fine

Would you believe I EVEN PULLED at the reception

Yes......ME!!!!!!

Only problem was..........she was 3 years old

Had to buy a new suit this morning didn't try the old one on till last night (because I was too bothered about the car being right) and it didn't fit DOH

At least I now have one that fits (for now) and I know I'll use it again

But the main objective - to get the bride to the wedding, then both of them to the reception - was done and that's the important thing

Bit of a trivial post I know, but it's nice for me to post something positive for a change

See ya!

This weather's gone beyond a joke!!! Why? I'll tell you......

I'm not heat tolerant at the best of times, but the past few days I've had my windows open, my ceiling fans on full, the sunroof all the way back, the windows down and the fan on full and cold on the car, AND I'VE STILL BEEN BOILING!!!!!!!!

Now I hear on the tv that we're due some thunderstorms.........great  I suppose they'll be either when I'm going to bed or at "stupid o clock" in the morning as usual

Anyway I went to see my counsellor this morning, only to be told that due to their health problems, I've only got 3 more sessions left

I can't really be angry about it, after all they're only human too, so I can understand. I was told though that it wasn't because of me (what a relief lol) but I hope now that something else can be sorted out.

Then this afternoon, I went with one of the groups I go to for a ride on a narrowboat, just a little way up a local canal and back, but it was very nice  

Take care

Well the England team lost again (they were VERY unlucky) and I spent last night drowning my sorrows with several cans of non alcoholic lager, thinking what an idiot we had for a manager and what my avatar would be now that I had to take the flag off.

But I'm not going to go on about it. It's over and done with now and they'll soon be back home.

Now as I sit here kicking my computer, I'm wondering one thing:

If this country (or any country) can be as united as this for events such as the World Cup or the Olympics etc, why can't we be like it all the time?

Makes you think doesn't it?

I wonder........

Anyway, time to get ready to blow some wind up some pipes, then go and make it rain (Chapel and Karaoke lol)

Take care